having followers who don’t interact with you is like hosting a party but spending the whole time standing in the corner alone while everyone else is having a good time
Ilana: Dude, I would follow you into hell.
Abbi: I would take you on my shoulders, like, I’d strap you up and I’d be like, “Let’s go through hell”
do you ever have those friends you just REALLY FUCKING appreciate. like god DAMN i really fucking apprecIATE YOU. thank you for fucking existing. thanks for fucking finding me worthy of you. i usually words like frick but you just make me go FUCK. FUck fuck thank you
Like many viewers, I was put off by How I Met Your Mother’s actual 42-minute finale, which featured divorce, death, and a whole lot of character regression. So I decided to trim it down to a regular-length episode that conveniently left those parts out. Enjoy!
This post got me thinking, so I tallied it up.
- The mother of Barney’s child: Is never given a name or a face, is only identified as the thirty-first woman he slept with in one month. Literally her only function is to be used for sex and then discarded once she has provided Barney with a child.
- Tracy: Gets married off, pops out a few kids, then dies off-screen to make way for the ex-girlfriend because her job here is done. At least she got a name?
- Lily: Has another kid and never seems to advance her own career options because that’s not interesting. She never needs to be shown actually accomplishing anything in Italy because that’s less catchy than having her be pregnant and emotional while her husband gets to achieve things (mostly in the background himself, because married people are boring).
- Robin: The high-powered career woman ruins her marriage by being too devoted to her work. Her only path to happiness is through her “friend zoned” “nice guy” ex-boyfriend from over twenty years ago.
How progressive of you, show. Not only did you ruin nine years of character development, you’ve also made it perfectly clear that woman are good for nothing other than baby making or fantasy fulfillment. Woo!
changing the date on your paper so your teacher doesn’t think you’re a procrastinator